I've been struggling with the blah's lately. Work is fine, home is fine, BF is fine. Everything is just that, fine. Nothing exciting, special or wonderful going on. Then I think about how selfish and complacent I am being by begrudjing my fine-ness. After all of the years of digging myself out of chaos, fine should be extra special. Fine for me should be more than enough, but I will have to admit, I am bored.
Things with the BF have hit a plateau and have stuck there for quite awhile. We are almost to our one year anniversary and I just don't see us going anywhere else soon. Of course then I started thinking about what else I want from the BF. Do I want to get married? Do I want us to live together? Do I want more time with him? I can't seem to say yes to any of these questions so I realize that we are right where we need to be.
I guess I am just stuck in that place between bad and good where everything is just kind of blah.
It took me a long time to get used to nothing-ness going on. I too lived on the roller coaster for far too long.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm LOVING the monotony of the merry go round. :)
(I'm actualy looking forward to laundry and home cooking tomorrow.)
It's so easy to get hooked on the chaos. It's addictive, I know. Coast, my friend...the answers will come to you.
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