Friday, September 30, 2011

Wedded Bliss

I won't bore you with a long, drawn out version of the events of this past week. Instead I will give this to you in a nutshell.

I am now married! FH is now Final Hubs instead of Future Hubs and we had a fairy tale wedding come true. We got married at a golf resort here in the DFW area and it was fabulous. We had good friends and beloved family by our sides and I wouldn't change a minute of it. My Ex even showed up to support his daughter and help her understand that he is still her Dad no matter what. I thought that took a lot of guts and showed how much he really loves his daughter.

After the wedding, we made a stop back at home to revel in our fabulous gifts from our wacky friends. I did receive a miniature version of Beyonce and had to explain to family and friends why this was a treasured gift rather than one that was misguided or tacky. B Jr. is now happily residing in my front flower bed and welcomes us home each day!!

Next we headed out to Napa, CA to a B&B for two days. We wined and dined and wined some more. The hotel was fabulous and we took in all of the sights we could see. There were a few wineries that I know I want to go back to. The Robinson Family winery is a must see as well as the Truchard Family vineyard as well. If you make sit out that way, I highly recommend the smaller, family run vineyards over the larger chains. They are just more interesting and you get to meet the people involved.

After Napa, we went to San Francisco where I quickly discovered everything is either on top of a hill or up a flight of stairs. I now have buns of steel. I climbed more hills and stairs than I ever thought possible. We had some more great food, met some more friends for dinner and of course did the Alcatraz tour. It was amazing. I never realized that the guards lived on the island with their families. Incredibly interesting and must see if you are ever out that way.

I will have to say that the people of Napa and San Francisco were wonderful. They were helpful and polite, friendly and caring. They gave great recommendations and stellar directions.

Now I am back home doing my mountain of laundry. If you see a pile moving, please dig in as I am sure to be under it somewhere!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Oh turd...


That was my head hitting the desk. My brain has gone so into overload that I can’t even put together a rational thought. Thank goodness for spell check or this whole post would be full of turds.

Sheesh, I didn’t even spell that one right. Terds? Nope. Isn’t the word turd in the dictionary? Oh Maude, you are being such a turd these days.

Of course I had to go look it up.

noun Slang: Vulgar .
1. a piece of excrement.
2. a mean, contemptible person.

At least my brain remembers what a turd is.

Getting the last details ready for the big day. I am getting married on Saturday and feel like I pretty much have everything under control. The brain death isn’t even due to stress. I has to do with thinking and rethinking about every detail I have already thought about. I’ve got this under control, we are ready, rock on!

Why can’t I stop thinking about this stuff? Because it is ingrained in my character. It is who I am. I do this about everything, why should this be any different. At the end of the wedding, we will be married and none of the decorations, food or cake will change that. My dear Maid of Honor has pointed this out to me on more than one occasion. I think she is about ready to choke me with her bare hands.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

It's MY Party...

I had a witch melting, flying monkey type of weekend. I managed to piss off my mother yet again, which is not hard to do at all. It was as simple as trying to change some dinner plans to include an extra person. Normally this would be fine, except the extra person is my fiancĂ©. For some reason, she just can’t bring herself to accept him into our group.

Growing up, Mom and I had this imaginary party in our minds and as we met new people, we would classify them based on whether or not we would invite them to this party. Not everybody makes the cut. It takes a special kind of person. Funny, witty, charming, are just a few of the required characteristics. Not everyone at this party has to be attractive as in looks, but everyone must be attractive in spirit.

Somewhere along the way, Mom has stopped inviting people to her party. She has locked the door, turned off the music and turned down the lights. Nobody gets in and she sits there in the dark, wondering where her joy has gone. The only time her eyes light up is when she sees her granddaughter.

How do we get to a place where our world is so narrow? When is our party too full to allow new people a chance to participate? Do we allow the unfortunate actions of one or two guests to spoil the party for everyone? Or do we strive to keep those doors open, the music jamming and the lights flashing as long as we can or until the cops show up?

We did manage to work out our differences, for now, but this weekend it is MY party and I will be having cake!

Monday, September 12, 2011

No time for Nonsense...

I started to write about Nonna Nonsense for this Monday, but I have decided that life is too short to dwell on her drama. I am taking back my sanity and refusing her the right to even make me think twice about her issues.

I have a wedding to finish planning for. In 12 more days and I become a Mrs. I’m pretty freaked out right now to say the least.

Everything is ready. Everything is done. Or is it? What am I forgetting?

I am sure to have forgotten to schedule XX to happen.

What XX is? I have no idea. I just know that nagging in the back of my mind is something that I haven’t done yet. There’s no way I could be completely ready. Maybe after FH and I go to get our marriage license on Wednesday I will feel like my job is more complete. Who knows?

Until then I am going to continue to have dreams about being at the zoo when the lions get out, being at the shopping mall when a flood breaks loose or my favorite, sitting on the beach watching a beautiful sunrise with a tidal wave appearing out of nowhere to drown me.


Friday, September 9, 2011

For Julianna...Chapter 6 & 7

I had to finish up the part of the story that I am prepared to tell at this time. It has a happy ending so I know you will all be happy to find out what happens.

Chapter 6 – Growing Up

Alice did well at her new first. She felt like she fit in somewhere. She was part of a family. She was valued as a person. Then slowly, she began to feel like maybe this all wasn’t really real. Little by little her boyfriend’s family became less friendly. Little by little they stopped paying attention to her. She felt as if she were becoming part of the furniture. Even Steve was treating her like she was an old hat because he saw her every day. This wasn’t turning on the way she had envisioned at all. Things were the same here as they were at home. Everyone asked something of her, but no one was giving anything in return. She was the hired help and her pay was room and board.

How could she get out of this mess she had created for herself? It would mean breaking up with Steve. It would mean groveling to her mother, if she would even talk to her. What to do, what to do? Each day the dread in the pit of her stomach grew heavier until she felt as if she may not be able to ever get up again. Finally Alice knew what she had to do. She swallowed her pride, picked up the phone and called her mom.

“Um, hi…Mom…um, how are you?” she said. Mom returned a curt reply and Alice knew she was sunk. She would really have to figure out how to make things okay again. She decided to start slow and work her way up. Acting as if this were just a friendly call to say hello. That lasted about five minutes before Mom said “Are you ready to come home now?” Alice began to cry. She sobbed into the phone how sorry she was for leaving and could she please come back home. Mom answered “I’ll be there shortly” and hung up the phone.

That car ride was the longest ride of her life. Mom didn’t say anything at all the entire way home. Alice didn’t even know how to break the ice or cut through the tension. When they got home, Mom pulled into the drive way and let Alice have it. “How dare you leave me” she began. This baffled Alice a little, but she was too afraid to say anything. Mom kept going on and on about how disappointed she was in Alice’s behavior and why couldn’t she see how she was hurting her family.

After about an hour, Mom finally stopped lecturing and turned to Alice. “Alice, you know I love you more than anything in the world, right?” Alice wasn’t sure how to answer. If she told Mom that she felt like her only purpose there was to take care of her mother, it wouldn’t go well, so Alice smiled weakly and said “yeah Mom, I love you too and I’m sorry”.

Things went back to normal pretty quickly, but every few weeks Mom would bring out the old wound of Alice’s betrayal and examine it again, with Alice, for hours. She would lecture again about how it hurt her and how abandoned she felt with Alice gone. There was nobody there and she was all alone. As soon as she knew Mom was winding down, Alice would slip away with an excuse about the bathroom or laundry or anything she could find to get away from where she was.

Finally the big day came and Alice was graduating high school. She had a job and a plan to make it on her own as quickly as she could. Before the snow fell at Christmas she was making her own home in an apartment. It was so small that it didn’t even really have a bedroom. They called it an efficiency. The only thing that was efficient about it was that it was so small it took hardly any time to clean. The carpets were dingy and threadbare, she had lawn chairs for furniture, but she didn’t care, she was on her own.

Mom would come by weekly to inspect how Alice was doing. She always managed some sort of dig about how Alice’s apartment was arranged. “Don’t you think that chair should go over there instead” or “why don’t you put the glasses in the other cupboard by the dishwasher?” Mom could never just come by to visit with Alice. It was always an offer for Alice to come back home.

Alice would hold her tongue until she felt as if she would bite it off and then the next fight would come. “Why won’t you leave me alone?” “Why isn’t anything I do ever right or good enough?” Alice didn’t realize it until many years later that Mom was scared and drowning. Without Alice, who was she? What was she supposed to do now? For years this dance played on and nobody was ever in the lead yet there was never anybody willing to follow either.

Chapter 7 – Finding her way

It was Christmas time. Alice and her mom had managed to go a few months without any fighting. Maybe this would be a turning point for their relationship. Maybe they could get through the holidays without any tears. Sadly, this was anything but the truth. Mom called Alice on Christmas morning to tell her that she wouldn’t be coming over. It seems that Alice didn’t appreciate her so she was going to stay away so she wouldn’t have to be ignored or endure Alice’s abuse.

Alice stood there with her mouth open for a long while. What Mom had said was true, but it was the exact opposite. Alice had endured years of being abused and ignored by her mother. No more. Alice didn’t call Mom back that day. She didn’t call her the next day either. Day after day the silence went on and Alice began to feel liberated. The weekend rolled around and Alice didn’t have to call Mom to synchronize their plans. She could do whatever she wanted. It.Was.Awesome!

She realized then that she had allowed her mother to control her life for so long, that she wasn’t sure how to really live it alone. Little by little she gathered her strength and like a baby bird, really stepped out of the nest on her own to fly for the first time. Fly she did and she was really good at it.

Eventually Mom called Alice again to check on her. It was a awkward call to say the least. Alice just let her hang on the line. She didn’t apologize. She didn’t make the first move or take the first step. Mom continued on about how she had been feeling down because the holidays were here and she was all alone. Alice just let her vent. Let her get it all out without saying really much of anything. She didn’t try to fix her mom or resolve the issues. She just listened.

An amazing thing happed then. Mom finished her conversation without yelling at Alice. She resolved her own hurt feelings and they were on speaking terms again. It was like a miracle. This opened a new door between Alice and her mom. A door to a grown up relationship that promised to be different than the relationship they’d had in the past. Alice walked through that door with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. She would finally have a real relationship with her mother.

Chapter 5 - Breaking Free

Junior High rolled into Senior High and with each passing year, Alice took on more responsibilities from her mother. She got a job, started buying her own clothes and even gave Mom money to help with the groceries. In between all of these things, she even found time to start liking boys. Only she didn’t like the type of boys that were the kind to treat a girl right. The bad boys were the ones that caught her eye.
Her first love was tall, dark and handsome. He had an old Cadillac that he had beefed up the engine on and he liked to drive it really fast. She loved the speed. She would roll down the window and let the wind whip her hair all around so that she looked like a banshee by the time they got anywhere. Steve didn’t mind. He liked the tousled look.

While Alice and Steve were busy being young and wild, there were other guys that tried without success to woo Alice away from Steve. These guys were reliable, dependable, came from good homes and were B-O-R-I-N-G! She didn’t want anything to do with any of them. She wasn’t going to be the type of girl that settled down, squeezed out a bunch of babies and wasted away at home while her husband did whatever he wanted. She saw what that did to her mother and she wasn’t having any part of it.

Steve wooed her with his talks about where they would go and what they would do when high school was over. They would travel, see the world, be carefree. All of the things that Alice thought she wanted.

One day her Mom came in to have a talk with Alice. It seems that she didn’t like for her to spend so much time with a guy like Steve. Mom went on and on about the perils of dating that kind of guy and where it would end up. Alice argued with her mom. How could SHE know what would happen with Steve? He was a great guy and would never do all of the things Mom said he would.

Mom didn’t give up after that one talk. Each week she confronted Alice with another talk. Each week she foretold of the perils that were waiting around the corner. Alice started avoiding her mother. Working later and spending more time with Steve. Exactly the opposite effect that her mother was hoping for.

She was spending so much time with Steve, he asked if she would consider moving in with him and his family. Especially as Alice’s mother was being so unreasonable and confrontational. Steve’s parents knew of Alice’s history and her troubles and thinking they could provide a more stable environment for her, they offered as well for Alice to come live with them. She decided that if everyone thought that was the right thing to do, then that must be the right thing to do.

That weekend Alice confronted her mother. She was tired of doing all of the work, tired of providing for her mother and tired of having all of the responsibilities. She didn’t give her Mom time to even put up a fight. Out the door she went with her few meager belongings. Away into Steve’s waiting car and whisked off into the night.

Alice knew it would break her mother’s heart, but she just couldn’t stay anymore. She felt so liberated, so free. For a fleeting moment she felt like a deer staring at an oncoming car, but that passed quickly.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Chapter IV - The Hair Cut

Time passed and Alice became accustomed to the pattern of her new world. Mom was working full time now, so many of the daily activities fell to Alice for attention. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, all of the things that her Mom had defined herself as a wife with were left in Alice’s lap as if it were a present.

“Now that you’re old enough Alice, you can help me with these tasks” her Mom would say. Alice tried not to complain, but when she had to stay inside to make sure the wash got finished while her friends were screaming up and down the block on their bicycles, it became harder and harder not to feel badly that she couldn’t join them.

Lots of girls Alice’s age were learning how to help with the household duties, so Alice knew that at least in this situation, she was normal, but when helping turned into sole responsibility for all of these chores, she knew that wasn’t normal. Alice did her best to keep up with everything. She knew how hard Mom worked during the day and how tired she was when she got home. Every little bit helped so she each day she did as much as she could.

The roles in their family became very different then. Mom went to work and was the bread winner of the family. Alice went to school during the day and played the role of the wife after school and in the evenings. Many times she would have a hot meal on the table when Mom got home from work. She lived for those fleeting smiles that her mother would give her when she arrived home to find the house clean and dinner on the table. “You are such a good girl” Mom would say. “What would I do without you?”

Things became more familiar in her visits with her Dad as well. Every other weekend, like clockwork. Dad would come pick her up and take her back to his house. She would spend the weekend doing chores at Dad’s house too. Chores like pulling weeds and sorting screws, mindless work that was geared towards keeping her quiet and out of the way. Dad paid her for her work, a quarter per pail for weeds and two quarters for a coffee can of sorted screws. She didn’t mind much as it seemed to make the time pass faster.

Spring gave way to Summer, then Summer to Fall and Alice was unusually glad to be back in school. She was going into the sixth grade this year and just knew everything would be different. Better somehow. Mom even promised to trim her hair for her before the first day of school to make sure she looked her best.

The trim started out great. Mom whizzed around with her scissors, making all of the right cuts while humming to herself. This was the happiest Alice had seen her in quite awhile. All of a sudden the humming stopped and Mom said “Uh-oh, Hmmm…I think I need to even this spot out, just a bit over here”. Alice froze in place. She didn’t want to move a muscle. She didn’t want to distract her Mom from fixing the tiny error in the hair cut. Little by little, Mom trimmed away and was “just making it even over here” until Alice couldn’t stand it anymore.

All of her precious, long hair that she had brushed and brushed for hours until it was as shiny as gold was there, lying on the floor. She was left with what could hardly even be called a Bob. It was uneven in the back, in the front, on the sides. She looked like a boy. As she stared into the mirror above the sink, giant tears slid down her face. Gone were here dreams of the new school year being better than ever. She was horrified, knowing that tomorrow she would have to go to school and face all of the friends she hadn’t seen since the Spring. Horrified at the laughter and finger pointing that she knew would come.

Mom came into the bathroom behind her, with tears in her eyes. Apologizing over and over. “If I only had the money to take you to get your hair cut, this would never have happened” she said. Alice knew there wasn’t any money for a hair cut. There wasn’t any money for new shoes or new clothes or new anything at all. Then Mom began to cry. Real tears of sorrow and heartbreak for what she couldn’t give to Alice. She laid all of her worries and troubles out on the table where Alice could see every ugly truth. Every bill that wasn’t paid, every debt that was owed, every broken thing that couldn’t be fixed.

Alice wasn’t sure what to do with all of this information. How could she be so shallow as to worry about what her hair looked like when Mom had troubles like these? She put her arms around her Mom and told her not to worry. “Things always have a way of working themselves out.” And they did. She went to school the next day and nobody laughed or pointed at her. The few people that did notice said how cute her hair looked in the pixie cut she had and why hadn’t they thought to do that with their hair.

The relief was immense. She smiled the rest of the day. The rest of the week in fact. It was all going to be fine and this year was really going to be different. Better. Fabulous.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Chapter III - The Birthday Fail

Chapter III – The Birthday Fail

After awhile, Alice got used to the routine. She even managed to make a few friends in Daddy’s neighborhood. One weekend she got an invitation to a birthday party from one of her new friends. It was for a Saturday that she would be visiting Daddy so she was sure he would let her go. She read the invitation over and over in disbelief that her name was clearly printed on it and not Claire’s. Not that Claire would have been interested in going to a 9 year old’s birthday party. How beneath her that invitation would have been.

Without a second thought, Alice went into the house to ask Daddy if she could go to the birthday party. It was more of a formality for her to ask as she was sure that Daddy would say yes, but ask away she did. Daddy turned to look at her with a scowl on his face and said “Absolutely not”.

Alice stepped back just out of arms reach. She knew when Daddy’s face made that scowl, it was certain danger to ask questions, but she reached down deep inside of her and said “May I ask why you said no?” Daddy laid down the guilt trip on her. Stating that he only got to see her every other weekend and that she was there to see him, not to make friends.

Alice did her best not to cry. She quietly said “okay Daddy” and left the room. Her little heart was broken yet again. She knew that Daddy didn’t really want to see her when she came to visit. He spent his entire weekend in the basement working on one project or another. She wasn’t even allowed down there while he was working because she might ruin what he was working on. She knew this was her punishment for causing him the inconvenience of child support and driving back and forth to get her every other weekend.

Alice spent the rest of the weekend quietly tucked away in the corner of the formal living room with her nose in a book. She always wondered why they had a formal living room when it was always empty. There was never any furniture in that room as long as Daddy lived there. It was the one place she could go that nobody would ever bother to go look for her.

When the day of the big party came, Alice lied and said she had a stomach ache and that’s why she couldn’t go to the party. She didn’t want anyone to know that Daddy had said no. She especially didn’t want anyone to know why he said no. She distanced herself from these new friends after that. It wouldn’t be right for anyone else to invite her to anything when she knew she could never return the favor.

She also knew that she would never really fit in with these friends anyways. They all had Mommies and Daddies together in one home. She couldn't even remember with fondness when her Mom and Dad were at home together because it always meant the yelling and door slamming was not far behind. Nope, she would never be the one to encourage them to get back together.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Chapter II - Claire

Sorry to leave everyone hanging. I made a promise to myself to stay off the computer this weekend and it looks like I did a pretty decent job.

Chapter II - Claire

By the end of the Summer Daddy started having Alice over for visits. He was living with some friends in their basement. It was dark, damp and cold down there, but Daddy never complained. Alice was pretty sure it was because he never went down there except to sleep and by then he was always too drunk to notice. Alice liked going to visit Daddy because his friends had a little girl almost her age and they would play together for hours.

Then Daddy met someone else.

To Alice It seemed like overnight that Daddy was getting married to Sandra and had started his whole life over. Just like that. Alice tried very hard to get her new stepmom to like her. She smiled and was polite and tried to helpful. Unfortunately she was so nervous that she often made things worse. She dropped things, spilled things and broke things so often that Sandra finally asked her to stop helping. That broke Alice’s smile and again she tried to become as small and hidden as possible.

Every other weekend Alice dreaded the trip to see Daddy. She didn’t understand why she had to go. Sandra clearly didn’t want her there and Daddy ignored her while she was there. He would start out happy to see her. He would even talk to her for a few minutes in the car, but by the time they got to the house, the conversation would end.

She tried to entertain herself as best she could. She would read the few books she owned until the covers fell off and then daydream that she too was riding her horse across the prairie with the wind in her face and the sun on her back. Or that she was fighting against all odds to overcome some evil villain or national threat. Entire weekends would go by that she had her nose buried in a book. Then she would look up and it was time to go home again.

Home, for Alice, was never Daddy’s house. Sandra made that very clear to her. She was the “other woman’s” child and Sandra only put up with her being there because the divorce agreement stated that Daddy had to take Alice every other weekend. Sandra had her own daughter, Claire, who was the apple of her eye and both made it clear to Alice that she was only to be tolerated.

Oh how Alice wished that Claire would like her. Would want to play with her or even just to share her toys with her. Unfortunately, this was not to be as Claire despised Alice. Claire had to share her room and her bed with Alice when she came to visit. Clair would complain about how this injustice had been forced upon her. Why should SHE have to share her bed with what was probably a bed wetter and at the very least annoying?

Clair was five years older than Alice and was everything that Alice wasn’t. She had long, thick hair that fell in waves. Alice had thin, stringy hair that hung like straw. Claire was athletic and graceful while Alice was gangly and clumsy. Alice so wanted to be like Claire that she would pretend to be Claire when she was at home. She would imitate Claire’s smile, her walk, even her laugh hoping to make herself feel just a little better about not actually being Claire.

All of this acting like Claire only made Mommy angry. She would yell at Alice and chide her for acting like an idiot. “Be Alice or go to your room” she would say. Alice spent a lot of time in her room, pretending to be anyone but herself.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Chapter I – The Perfect Summer

My good friend Stephanie ( has been posting some completely fantastic stories and I just couldn't help but search myself and ask myself what my story was. Amazingly enough, it took only a matter of moments for me to start my story. I knew exactly where it would begin and the names of the characters popped into my head.

Here for your reading pleasure is Chapter I. I have no idea how many chapters this story will have to share because when it stops flowing out of my like water, I will put it away for awhile.

Chapter I – The Perfect Summer

Alice was just starting summer break between Kindergarten and First Grade when she heard the slamming of the front door. Mommy and Daddy were fighting again and this time it seemed that Daddy wasn’t coming back. Only he did come back, just long enough to grab a few pots and pans out of the cupboard so he could “cook some soup for dinner” he said. Then he left for good.

She should have cried then. She should have said ‘Daddy, don’t leave me’, but the truth is that Daddy was never there anyways and with him gone, hopefully Mommy would yell less. How could you miss what you didn’t have or didn’t know you were supposed to miss?

Mommy was always so tired. She got up before the sun, made the breakfast, made the beds and cleaned the house. Every single day she cleaned the house. You could almost tell what time of day it was by when the vacuum cleaner came on. You knew it was time to get out of the house when you heard that vacuum. If you didn’t, the chores were handed out. Dust this, pick up that, put that away. Always in that frantic voice as if there were never enough time to get it all done.

Alice wondered, get WHAT done? If you dust and vacuum every day, how could there be any dust to remove or any dirt to vacuum in less than 24 hours? But every day Mommy did what every “good” housewife did and had the house clean, kids clean and supper waiting on the table for Daddy who always seemed to be working late or in a meeting.

The table was set and supper was on it promptly at 6:00 every night. Not 5:59 and not 6:01, but 6:00 on the dot. We would wait for what seemed like hours for Daddy to come home. By the time the call came in, supper was usually cold, but we ate it anyways. “Sorry kids, Daddy has a big meeting in the morning and says we should start without him” Mommy would say to us. We knew the moment he didn’t walk in the door right at 6:00 that he wouldn’t be joining us for dinner. It was all or nothing with Daddy.

Why couldn’t Daddy be there once to see Mommy’s smile fade from her face? Why couldn’t Daddy see that she had fretted all day that she wasn’t a good enough wife and that’s why he didn’t want to come home? Alice was only 6, but she saw it and knew.

After Daddy left, Mommy went through quite a change. She just stopped. She stopped cleaning, she stopped cooking and she stopped making the beds. Mostly she stayed in her room and hid from the world. Alice could hear her crying softly in her room during the day. Sometimes at night Mommy would cry loudly enough that it would wake Alice up. Alice wondered what to do. Should she go in and comfort her Mommy or put the pillow over her head and go back to sleep?
Finally Alice had to do SOMETHING. She quietly pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed. She crept into Mommy’s room and quietly whispered “Mommy, are you okay?” At this point Mommy really burst into tears and scared Alice so badly that she ran back to her room and hid in her closet. You see Mommy thought that she was careful enough that Alice didn’t know that she was unhappy.

But Alice knew.

Alice wondered if Mommy was unhappy because she was left taking care of her. Did she wish that Daddy had taken Alice with him when she left? Why didn’t Daddy take her with him when he left? Did Daddy not want her either?

Lot’s of unanswered questions in her mind left her unable to sleep for many nights. Nobody noticed the dark circles growing under her eyes. Nobody saw that her clothes were now loose because she was hardly eating anything. Nobody realized that she didn’t smile or laugh anymore.

It was at least three months after Daddy left before Alice saw him again. He offered no explanations or words of encouragement. He hardly talked to her at all. She didn’t know what to say to him either, but it seemed like telling him that she missed him would be the right thing, even if it was a lie.

Oh yes, Alice had learned how to lie. Brilliantly some might say. People would ask “how are you today” and Alice would lie and say she was fine, good, dandy even. “Are you enjoying your summer Alice?” “Oh yes, we are all having so much fun” she would say. “This has been the best summer ever…”

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Gone and forgotten...

I picked up my daughter from after school care yesterday and her backpack felt a little light, but I wasn't really thinking about it until we got in the car and drove off. When we got home, I looked into the backpack so I could check her folder to see what "our" homework was for the night. The trouble begins when there is NOT a folder in her backpack.

Me: Honey, where's your folder from school?
Her: Um, I don't know...
Me: When did you have it last?
Her: Um, I don't remember...
Me: Did you have it when you left school today?
Her: Of course Mo-om (eyes rolling)
Me: Did you have it when you were on the bus today?
Her: Yes, I had it on the bus then I took it out of my back pack
Me: On the bus?
Her: Yes
Me: Did you leave your folder on the bus?
Her: No, of course not (more eye rolling)
Me: Stop rolling your eyes at me or I am going to smack you in the side of the head and see if I get the jackpot
Her: Well, I had the folder when I got off the bus so of course I didn't leave it on the bus

At this point I am starting to get frustrated. She clearly remembers when she had the folder last, yet we are going through the motions here. So my foot starts tapping.

Me: Dear, we are trying to trace your steps here to see if we can remember where your folder is. Do you remember where you left your folder yet?
Her: No
Me: Okay, let's keep going then...did you have your folder when you got to KC (after school care)?
Her: Yes, my teacher was helping me with my homework
Me: When she was done helping you, where did you put your folder?
Her: On the floor
Me: Do you remember seeing the folder again after that?
Her: No, I think I left it on the floor. Do you think they will throw it away?
Me: Probably not, hopefully they will put it in your cubby at school.
Her: They are going to throw it away, I won't have my folder anymore.

Now the crying starts...

I try my best to comfort her and tell her the folder is probably at school and we will find it in the morning. No, we can't go tonight because they are closed. Sorry Baby... Now instead of being mad at her I am trying to get her to stop crying. About 10 minutes later, I realized that she totally worked me.

We found the folder at day care this morning. In her cubby, ready to go. Crisis resolved...Whew!

Normally I would chalk this one up as over and done, but then it hits me...we aren't even finished with the second week of school yet. How am I going to survive 9 months of lost folders, forgotten homework and papers that should have been signed yesterday? I have heard the other parents lament over these things for years and secretly I wondered what the big whoop was. They should keep a closer eye on stuff. How did they let it get so out of control?

Now I realize...I am just like all of the other parents out there...