Friday, October 21, 2016

Say what you mean, mean what you say....

I have been told that I have a large personality.  I have been told that sometimes I say things and people take offense and their feelings are hurt.  These are the same people that know that I would never intentionally hurt them.

So let's say that I did or said something to hurt your feelings?  What would you do?  Give me the benefit of the doubt and bring it to my attention OR take it personally, throw away our friendship and never tell me the reason?

In my life I have had very few that made the first choice.  Most have made the second choice.  It's like they don't even know me at all. Or, they didn't care enough about our friendship to take a risk and bring it up.

Am I an ogre?  Would I stomp around and eat their liver?  Nope, I would first listen to what they had to say, apologize for any hurt and do my best to smooth it over.  Plus, I have never enjoyed liver so why would I eat yours?

Over the years, this has made me paranoid.  I send a text or an email and it goes unanswered.  Are they mad at me, have I offended them somehow, what did I do wrong?  Then I start to beat myself up only to find their phone was lost under the sofa for three days.

How do we break the cycle?  I have consciously made an effort to be more careful about how I say things.  I try not to ever tease anyone, even in the most harmless way.  I work hard to recognize the body language of those around me to make sure I have not offended someone.  I will have to say, it is exhausting.

Would it be easier just to let those people go?  Absolutely!  Do I want to let those people go?  Not really.