Sorry I have been away for so long. Lots of crazy things going on. We have decided to put our house on the market, I had to go to Phoenix for a few days for work and have been cramming in the hours and working like crazy now that I am back home.
I am going to start this by saying this is a spiritual post. Not a religious or a fanatical type of post, but about faith, just the same. Most of the time I pray for healing. Sick babies, friends going in for surgery, those types of things. I pray for the healing of the heart, the mind and the body for so many, but when I pray for myself, I start to wonder if that is the right thing to do. I get lost in the thoughts about all of the mothers praying because they can't feed their children. All of the children without mothers or fathers trying to feed themselves in the street. All of the people that are being persecuted, tortured and killed just to say they believe in God. Then I feel like my prayers are insignificant. Why should my pitiful prayers be answered?
Of course then I start to evaluate my life. Are the things I am praying for a solution to a direct result of a fault of my own? Are the things I am praying for worth listening to? What can I do to answer my own prayers? Then it hits me. I do not answer prayers, God answers prayers. Whether it be for me or through me. No matter what my heart aches for, it still aches. No amount of concern for all others that have less than I will alleviate the ache, it only makes it greater.
This means I will continue to pray. I will pray for the mothers, the children, my friends and my family, but I will also pray for myself. God will decide how He answers my prayers, but I will offer them up to Him just as well. After all, what fun would it be to have a conversation with a friend when all you do is let them talk and don't offer any conversation in return?
As I write this with conviction, I am still waffling back and forth. Do you save only the big stuff for Him or do you give Him everything?