Monday, August 8, 2011

Nonna Nonsense Mondays...

As promised, here is more of the greatness of Nonna...

We had several conversations about different things over the weekend. All of which I thought I was having with Nonna. It turns out that only I was paying attention to these conversations because no less than three times did she jump me for not telling her about X, Y or Z. When I pointed out to her that we had those conversations, she told me that we absolutely did NOT talk about these things.


For example, we have discussed the Honeymoon plans no less than 10 times. Where my daughter will be while we are gone, where we are staying, what sights we are going to see, etc... Yesterday we drove by my daughters new school. Not the day care that she went to preschool at all of the last school year, but her elementary school.

Me: (Daughter's) new school is right down this road. You won't pick her up here because she will be at the day care, but in case you ever need to know, it is down this road.
Nonna: You never said I had to pick her up at school. I thought I was picking her up at day care.
Me: Right, that's what I just said. I was just showing you where her regular school was.
Nonna: Is that where I will be picking her up?
Me: No, you will pick her up at day care.
Nonna: So, her day care is down that road?
Me: No, that is her elementary school, I was just showing you where it was. You will pick her up from the same day care that you have picked her up from before.
Nonna: I thought I was picking her up from day care?
Me: You ARE picking her up from day care.
Nonna: Where is her day care?
Me: I will send you a map. How about that heat...?

I had to change the subject. I was ready to kill her. It was like a bad episode of Who's on First.

Then we went to run some errands. Nonna needed something to wear to the wedding. I did some research and found a nice, larger ladies store and take her there. I tell her that I am buying so she doesn't have to worry about what everything costs. Just pick something out and try it on.

We get to the store and she starts describing to me what she wants for the thousandth time. I get it Nonna, 3/4 length sleeves, long shirt, slacks, not too colorful, you have told me what you were looking for. So, I pick out several things that she doesn't like. She again explains to me what she wants. Using the exact same words that she has said to me before, but with more emphasis on each characteristic. Like maybe I am a little slow or speak another language. Everything I showed her met her criteria; however, because I was the one to select it, she didn't want it. Later, she picks up a blouse (one that I had already shown to her) and decides it is the perfect one. We got some slacks and the outfit was selected. Then we get up to the line to pay and she starts worrying.

Nonna: These are pretty expensive. I am not sure I can afford this right now.
Me: I told you, I am buying.
Nonna: Maybe we should put these on lay-away. I wonder if they have that here.
Me: Nonna, I am buying, don't worry about it.
Nonna: Hey, if I apply for a credit card with them, I get 15% off.
Me: Hello? Am I here right now? Can you hear me speaking to you?
Nonna: Yes, I hear you. What is your problem?
Me: I told you that I am buying, don't worry about it.
Nonna: I think I will apply for their credit card.
Me: UGH! Never mind...

She ended up getting about 45% off of the clothes and now has a new credit card that she doesn't need. I think I may be turning invisible.

Do you see me?

Can you hear me?

Am I still here???


  1. "Whuck" is my new favorite word!
    What is going on with your mom, Sweets?

  2. haha I second what Steph just said.Whuck! Nice word. As for your mom my mom does the same thing. It never ends. I spin in circles so much talking to her that i am nauseous from the endless cycle of torment a conversation with her gives me. sigh. I feel your pain.

  3. It's God's sense of humor playing jokes on us is what it is. Mother's become impaired with select hearing, forgetfulness, and an infinity to blame their daughters for everything that doesn't go right. I live far away from my mother but she still can push my buttons right on the old telephone!!!! Patience is not an easy virtue is it?

  4. Also my newest favorite word. :)

    I may even use it in place of various naughty words, and or in mixed company.

    As for Nonna...Are you sure It's not the onset of something else? Or has she always been this way?

    Can't help you with the invisible thing... seems I only exist around here when the boys need money and or food.