You know in a bad relationship with a person, you give them one, maybe two chances and then if you’re smart you toss them out the door like yesterday’s trash? Why don’t we do that with our family members?
We let them crap on us for years. We give them a million chances. We say, but that’s your dad, cousin, uncle, sister…etc. What makes it okay for them to treat us badly when they will be the first to tell us that we should not allow others to treat us badly?
My aunt died on Saturday. She wasn’t my biological aunt, but she and my biological aunt have been room mates for 40+ years. She has been at every family celebration, she has been a huge part of my life for many years and she was beloved by me. Nobody told me.
My aunt didn’t call me.
My dad didn’t call me.
Nobody called me to tell me she had passed.
My dad called my brother, my step-mom called my step-sister. Nobody called me to tell me anything. I had to find out fourth hand, yes fourth hand from my mother. The only reason she even knew was because she called my brother to wish him a Happy Easter.
So, I broke up with my family. I broke up with my dad, my step-mom and my aunt. I broke up with my brother years ago, so nothing new there. And, I broke up with my step-sister too. My other aunt and uncle never call or write anyways, so breaking up with them will go unnoticed I’m sure.
Everyone makes such a big deal about how important family is and how you should do anything and everything to keep you family together, but at what cost? When do you stop allowing them to beat you down, ignore you, treat you poorly?
I have had this discussion with my family on several occasions. Someone is sick, has surgery, gets a house, nobody tells me. I find out when my letter comes back undeliverable. What kind of way is that to treat someone?
For years I had hoped that if I kept trying, they would try too. Nope…
SO…I broke up with all of them except my mother…don’t tell her though, she would be the first to gloat and say “I told you so…”