My Beautiful Baby

My beautiful baby, fresh from my womb with a soft cry that makes me go tender inside

My beautiful baby, cooing so sweetly, closes her eyes and sleeps so deeply

My beautiful toddler, ever so cautious, learning the world around her

My beautiful toddler, learning her words, so anxious to tell me everything

My beautiful child, discovering the world around her, trying new things

My beautiful child, fearless, courageous, striving out into the world to make her mark

My beautiful child, it's 3:00 a.m. in the morning, unless you want me to take you out of this world, stop poking me!!!

I had you going there, didn't I? I was reflecting on how my darling girl has grown so much over the past 5 years. I adore her with all of my heart, but the past few weeks she has taken to waking me up, every school night between 2:00 and 3:00 a.m. She tip toes into the room so quietly and stands by my bedside like a silent stalker. I can feel her right before she takes that finger and poke, poke, poke..."Mommy, I can't sleep" she whispers. Like a zombie I walk her into the living room, put some blankets and pillows on the sofa and kiss her back to sleep.

Last night I even threatened her with her allowance - Don't get out of bed, don't wake me up, stay in your own bed or no allowance this week.

3:00 a.m. "Mommy, I tried and tried and tried to stay in my room but just couldn't sleep anymore. You can have my allowance if I can sleep down here on the couch".

So forlorn...

So sad...

I didn't have the heart to take her allowance from her, but I won't tell her that until the end of the week. Let her worry about it just a little. See if she will stay in bed tonight to redeem herself. Odds are not good for me!

I miss snuggling with my little Angel that snores like a truck driver and punches like Ali in her sleep. Sort of...

No Nonsense Nonna...

I can honestly report that Nonna did not do or say anything worthy of writing about over the weekend. Her general attitude of gloom and doom over the upcoming nuptials is still an under laying theme, but her overall behavior has been acceptable.

The daughter absolutely loves school. Her first week of Kindergarten was a huge success and she has learned how to successfully walk on Marshmallow toes. Too cute. Now, if I could convince her that sleeping in her own bed the entire night is something a Kindergartner should do, we will be on the road to success.

Marked off a great number of "To Do" items on the wedding list. We got our rings, picked out some songs to be played at the wedding. That is a lot harder than it sounds. You want something meaningful and romantic, but not sappy. I think we did okay, but I am sure there will be an eye or two that rolls.

We even reclaimed the Dining room from the man boxes. I have high hopes that the garage will come along nicely this week. I may have to fake an emergency where I need access to the sprinkler as an excuse to at least stack the boxes up in an orderly fashion so I can get my car back in the garage. If it hadn't been over 100 degrees for weeks on end, I would be a bit pushier about the boxes, but you can't stay out there for more than 30 minutes without seriously getting dehydrated.

Trying to keep my right ear from exploding for now. My allergies are in full swing and I just can't get that ear unplugged. It is driving me crazy!!

That's all I have to report on the western front....

Oh, wait, one more thing. Evidently the mother of my future step daughter forgot to tell FH that daughter starts soccer practice tomorrow night. Her soccer gear is at our house...now FH will have to drive the gear over to daughter first thing in the morning. DOH! I would say, first practice, don't worry about it, but he wants her to start off on the right foot. Neither the daughter nor her mother seems to have any concern over putting someone else out due to their lack of planning.

What's the old adage...failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!

ME!

How many of us live our lives wondering and worrying about things that will affect us? Do you get up each day and wonder, what's going to happen to ME today? Or do you roll out of bed and wing it?

I have the misfortune of being surrounded by several people that worry only about how everything affects them. They never stop to consider that maybe things just happen sometimes. Accidents happen and activities sometimes have unforeseen outcomes. It is called life.

I have a tendency to be a bit of a Pollyanna. I start each day with the belief that the day will go well and I will be relatively happy. I don't worry about who is going to cut me off in traffic on the way to work nor do I worry about a meteor falling out of the sky and landing on my head. Yet, I am continually reminded that there are people who really do this. They wake up and wonder, what awful thing is going to happen to ME today?

On one hand, I truly feel sorry for these people. How horrible it must be to begin each day with dread. Wondering when that moment will come that will ruin their day. How many wonderful things did they miss worrying about things that are out of their control?

Then on the other hand, I want to kick them in the tushy buns and tell them to get over themselves. The world does not revolve around any one person. The "bad-happenings gremlin" is NOT camped directly outside their door nor does he have the assignment to follow them around and make bad things happen to them.

I have learned not to try to change these people. If you attempt to get them to see things differently, their misery becomes your fault. Like you personally called the guy in traffic ahead of them and said - "hey buddy, swerve around that pot hole at the last minute so that XX won't see it and gets a flat tire when they hit it. Won't that be a hoot?"

It is a choice that we make every day. Am I going to find the good in today OR am I going to find the bad in today. You will typically find what you are looking for.

The Hand Twin

Julianna from Surviving Boys is my hand twin. Click on the link to see today's post.

How weird is that? Even down to the silver and white...

Just goes to show that we both have great taste and great hands!

Fired!!

What would you do if you could fire your family?

Really, I mean give your two week notice and then go apply for a new family. Wouldn't that be cool?

I have a brother that doesn't talk to me, a step-sister that I barely know, an alcoholic Dad with a co-dependent step-mom and a mother that won't STOP talking to me.

The only one I would keep is my daughter, because there is still hope for her...

Maybe I should put them all in a room and lock the door. That way nobody else is exposed to them...

The almost good, very bad, rotten day...

Today started off very nicely. Daughter was with her dad so I got to sleep in a little, but the peace did not last long. It seems that the brand new shoes I sent with her for her first day of school were too small. No more ordering shoes online!

I voiced my complaints about the shoes and her dad started profusely apologizing. I never can understand why he does that. It's not HIS fault the shoes were too small...or was it? Hmmm...maybe there's a way I can pin it on him after all. Anyways, it ticks me off when he goes on and on about how horrible it all is and whatever can we possibly do to fix it. Grrr...

Next was meeting them at school for our daughter's first day of Kindergarten. I am both proud and immensely sad that she waved us off only moments after her arrival. She was already making new friends and didn't want us to take any more pictures or cramp her style. I sniffled all of the way to the car.

I made it to work and the day went relatively well. I had a great lunch at one of my favorite places with two of my favorite people. I know, I'm lucky I get to work with great people. After lunch, I figured I better call Nonna and give her the update about Kindergarten. Why do I do this to myself? I called her. I asked for it. I got it. After 15 minutes of her rambling about what was wrong with the world I was finally able to explain that I was still at work and had to go.

She called me back 5 minutes later on my cell phone. (Which was stuck in the bottom of my purse. Which was right next to my half full cup of coffee from this morning. Which spilled all over my desk and my lap. Which still stinks from the milk that was in the coffee.) Only to tell me that she had picked up a few things from the thrift store for her grand baby to keep at her dad's house. Oh goody, more crap she doesn't need....

Work went downhill from there with a program we are working on deciding to do things it isn't supposed to and not do things it is supposed to and our programmer is on vacation today. I will give her credit for working part of the morning on her day off to let us know what was ready to test, but after that she has disappeared.

Tomorrow will be better, but for now I am just grumpy, grouchy, cranky, moody and overall in a bad mood. Now I get to go pick up my sparkling daughter from her after school program and put on my fake, smiley face to ask her how her first day was. I am sure after hearing a few minutes of her adventures, my fake smile will turn into a real smile and I will get some great hugs to complete the day.

Once the princess goes to sleep, I get to snuggle up with the King and enjoy some pampering. He has already promised a back rub to put the mood back to the good side. Ahhh...

Nonnna Nonsense Friday...

I am starting this post on Friday because I have so many things I'm not sure I can hold out until Monday...

As my daughter and I were leaving for our cruise to the Bahamas, I get an e-mail from Nonna stating that during our trip would be a perfect time for me to talk to my daughter about what inappropriate touching is, etc... I sat in my seat at the airport with my mouth open for about five minutes. A fly just about landed on my tongue mistaking it for a landing strip so I had to close my mouth.

When my daughter was about four, she and a couple of the other girls at her day care got in trouble for showing each other their panties. It was harmless, but I thought it was a good opportunity to talk with her about what was appropriate and what wasn't. Through the months I have mentioned other things about what is okay and what isn't, all in context of events going on around us. Why on earth would I say to her "Honey, we are going on a great adventure. If anyone touches your stuff inappropriately on this trip, let me know". Come on now... Who lets their five year old out of their sight on a cruise anyways? Not this mom!

Next we found out the new teacher is Mr. Teacher and not Miss Teacher, Nonna went straight to worrying about if Mr. Teacher was going to molest my daughter. They actually have more than one male teacher at my school so evidently that means that the school condones molestation of small children. Really...did you know that? Now I have to home school!! In the same e-mail she had to also ask me what FH wants for Christmas. Like I am even thinking about Christmas at this point. :-D

This morning I got an e-mail asking me what I would do if FH turned out like the Ex. My first question was 'what do you know that I don't'? She quickly assured me it was completely hypothetical. In return I had to ask her what she would do if a giant rubber duck knocked on her door. She was confused, angry even. Why would I ask her something so outlandish. I told her 'Exactly, you never know what you would do in a hypothetical situation until it becomes real'. She did NOT get my point.

I hate playing the game of "What If". How can you plan for every possible tragedy on the planet? Let's just worry about today, shall we?