Church with Bonus Daughter...

I had the rare opportunity to take Bonus Daughter to church with me yesterday.  I tried really hard not to stare at her during the pastor’s sermon, but I was trying to gauge her reactions to what he was sharing with us. 

You see, I have asked her several times to join us on Sundays and she has always declined.  She goes to a non-denominational church with her Mom when they go and I think she was worried that maybe she would be cheating on her church by going to another one.  Or maybe that she was being disloyal to her Mom because that was their thing.  I talked with her about it a little bit and tried to make it very open and accepting to her choice to go or not go.  I was truly surprised and excited that she chose to go with us.

Then I got nervous…

I remember how I felt about religion at her age.  Maybe it was the being 11, or maybe it was because I felt like I was getting nothing from the church, but that was a very hard time for my faith.  The Catholic Church was not the kindest to me or my family.  They shunned my mother when my parents divorced and only going every other weekend with my Dad meant we never signed up for any of the children’s teachings.  I never felt like I belonged there.

In my life, I have traveled to many different churches of many different faiths trying to find somewhere that I felt God closely with me while I was there and continued to feel him with me even when I wasn’t there.  When my daughter was just over a year old, I found my current church and just knew it was the right one.

When we sing, I feel my heart swell and my eyes tear up and I feel so loved.  It is like stepping out from a cold building in the middle of summer to feel the heat of the sun shine on your face.  It warms you instantly and continues to warm you as long as you are receiving it.  I feel welcome there.  Nobody cares where I’ve been or what I’ve done, they accept me and my mixed up family with open arms.

Can you tell I’m glad to be back at the church?  After almost a year, I have made it a part of my life again and I feel so much better. 

At the end of the sermon, I asked Bonus Daughter if she understood the message of the day and what she thought about it.  She really got it.  She really heard the message and got it.  I am so proud of her and her desire to have a relationship with God.  I am also thankful that she allowed me to share in this part of her life and can only hope that she will continue to do so. 

Beauty and the Beast...

One of my friends recently told me that her daughter has been offered a modeling contract.  She's 6.  The daughter, not the mother....  Anyways, the mom worked at the mall and took her daughter to work with her one day when they were doing a modeling promotion for kids.  One of the people working the show prompted mom to sign up - of course - and her daughter won the whole thing. 

On one hand, I am so excited for these people as the mom and the daughter are awesome people.  The daughter is as cute as a bug and certainly very photogenic.  I can totally see why they would select her as the winner.

On the other hand, I am so bothered by this that it has caused me to dig deep into my heart to figure out why I don't want them to have this.  I have discovered the horrible truth...I am jealous.  At first I thought it was jealousy because I wanted my daughter to model, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn't it.  It was even uglier than that.

When I was about 10, I was signed up at a modeling school.  I went with a friend because for that day only it was free.  I guess it was their way to sucker bring in more clients.  They loved me.  Not only did they love me, they decided that I could come back on a scholarship because I couldn't afford their class.  The suckered me in so much that I really felt like maybe I would make it big.  I was certain tall for my age, very blond (naturally back then) and had a great complexion.  I had dreams of how big I would be and even began practicing my red carpet walk.  Hey, I was 10, that's what 10 year old girls do, right?

Then came the utter disappointment, I was out.  Helga or Olga or one of those Swedish names came in the door off the street and stole my scholarship.  Evidently it doesn't matter how cute you are, if you don't pay your dues, you don't go anywhere.  I was left with the wonderment of what might have happened had things been different and I could have paid for the class. 

I do realize that I most likely would have never really been a model.  Not that I'm a dog, but I am not exactly high fashion model pretty.  The point is that they got my hopes up only to dash them into the gutter.  I don't want that for the daughter nor the mom because it really sucks.  I pray that it's nothing but wonderful for them and that I see the daughter on the cover of Vogue one day.  On the up side, I don't recall ever seeing Olga on the cover of anything...  :-D

The craziness continues as usual in my world.  Had a spat with Nonna, shipped off Bonus Daughter for a week and finally got the cable buried in my yard.  Yes, cable, no dead body.  Here's a little more of the details of what I have been doing...

Nonna -
Well, Nonna has been pretty quiet lately. I knew it couldn't last though.  Little by little she has been sending her junk stuff, my way.  I have been diligent in trying to find places for everything she wants to keep, but I informed her that the inn was getting full and she hadn't even sent any of her "real" stuff over yet.  I had to remind her once again that she has two rooms in our house.  Not lots of rooms in our house.  Two.  She keeps spilling out into the general areas and "suggests" how some of her things would look better in specific places where I have proudly put my things.  Nope, not working for me...

Bonus Daughter -
We have had Bonus Daughter living with us since the end of the school year (about June 1st) and things have been going pretty smoothly if you ignore her Momma Drama.  Her mom sold her house and they were not due to move until September.  The new owner sold their house sooner than expected and all of a sudden the move date was the first week of July.  Mom said she wanted us to keep Bonus Daughter and she was going to go live out of town to get herself back together.  After many tears and finally acceptance from Bonus Daughter ("really, we're not that bad" I kept telling her) we were ready to have a full time Daughter.  Only to have her mom change her mind at the last minute, literally, and now Bonus Daughter will be going back to live with her Mom in August. 

Cable -
When you build a new home, the cable company runs a line from their box to your box on the outside of your home.  This line lays exposed on the ground until another crew comes back and buries it.  After over a month of waiting for this to happen, I called the cable company and spoke with a nice man in a third world country somewhere.  After clearly explaining what I needed done, the man sends a repair technician to my home.  This technician politely tells me that he only fixes the cable, he doesn't bury it.  I told him I was sure that I had a shovel he could use.  He didn't even crack a smile.  So I call the cable company again, again I am connected with a person that is not from this country.  After explaining to her several times in several different ways, I am assured that a specialist will be coming to my home to bury my cable. And to not be confused.  What? I'm not confused, you're confused.  Whatever.  So, cable technician #2 is scheduled.  I take time off from work to be there.  That morning I receive a call from the contracting company that actually buries the lines.  The wonderful technician that had originally arrived was evidently impressed enough with my desperation that he contacted someone to finish the job. YEA!  Now I don't have to take time off from work and the cable has been successfully buried.  Little does Technician #2 know that if the contractor hadn't interceded on his behalf, there was definitely a shovel that would have been used...

That's all I have to report for now.  Jet setting off to Phoenix again tomorrow.  I think I have started getting mail there.