What's that big yellow thing in the sky...

After weeks and weeks of rain, thunderstorms, lightning, hail and high winds I am feeling a little anticlimactic today. The sun is shining brightly. The humidity level is down. They sky is so very, very blue. I should be feeling peaceful and happy that the storms have subsided for the foreseeable future, yet somehow I am not.

I feel bored, let down, disappointed, depressed...how sad is that?! Watching the storms roll in, listening to the weather reports on the radio, following the storm chaser chats on the Internet were a huge source of entertainment over the past few weeks. I think maybe I should have aspired to be a meteorologist or better yet, a storm chaser instead of following the safer path of office life. Almost nothing excites me like a good storm brewing.

Don't get me wrong, given the history of my life boring is good. Boring is way better than chaos any day of the week. I just have to remind myself that the sun is shining brightly in the sky as it should.

What does NO mean to you?

It is the never ending battle.

Daughter: Mommy, can I jump off the back of the sofa?
Me: Nope, pretty sure that's not a good idea, you could get hurt.
Daughter: Why not?
Me: Didn't I just tell you why not? You could get hurt, the answer is no.
Daughter: Please? Pretty please? Oh please, oh please, oh please?
Me: No means no to me, what does it mean to you?

We go through this battle almost daily now. I don't remember questioning my parents like this when I was her age. Maybe I did and just don't remember. I have tried my best to be consistent in no meaning no. If I say maybe, that's one thing but if I say no, no amount of begging, whining nor pleading will change my mind. Why is this such a hard thing for a five year old to get?

I have also decided that begging, whining and pleading are the second most annoying activities that my daughter participates in. The first would be the questioning of whether or not I really meant no. One of us may not survive this life lesson...

You let your kid do what...?

Let me start by saying that I will be the first to admit there are things I let my daughter do that other parents might not let their child do. I may even be blog fodder for somebody else's blog, but I witnessed several events over the weekend that lead me to believe that these parents must have at least one more child than they want.

The first one was on Saturday morning while I was hosting a garage sale. Dad drives by with Young Son in the car. Great, Dad is giving Mom some time alone. Little does Mom know that Young Son is standing in the front seat of the car leaning forward with his little arms crossed on the dash while peering out the window. Yes, the car is in motion as Dad speeds down the residential street going at least twice the posted limit. I am guessing they have 5 more just like Young Son waiting at home...

The next 200 were witnessed while searching for some friends in the parking lot of a Jimmy Buffet concert. For anyone that has ever been to see Jimmy, you might be familiar with the term Parrot Head and would have some understanding of the outlandish activities associated with tailgating at one of his concerts. There were golf carts decorated like sharks, tiki huts, parrots, surf boards, you name it. There was even a very large above ground pool surrounded by a sea of RV's. That being said, you can assume that alcohol was being consumed in large quantities and along with that, people behaving quite wildly. What better place to bring your young children? Little tiny babies, toddlers, young sons and daughters, older sons and daughters, teenagers dressed like thugs and Hooter's girls... Yep, next year I'm gonna take my 5 year old - well, she'll be 6 by then, plenty old enough! I am going to sit her up at the bar and pour her a shot of tequila then let her go play in the street!!

The last one is a little more close to home and therefore way more frustrating. BF's daughter was with us for the weekend. Sunday afternoon we got a call from Mom's BF saying Mom is drunk and can we keep the daughter one more night. Sure we can. Thirty minutes later, daughter was playing with the iPhone, phone rings, Mom's name and number pop up so she answers the phone. Mom starts interrogating her daughter asking where she is, what is she doing, why isn't she coming home tonight? This goes on for a couple of minutes within hearing of the BF. I am waiting for him to go over and rescue his daughter from her drunk Mother. Nope, he does nothing. I finally go over to him and harshly whisper in his ear that he needs to get over there and rescue his daughter. By the time he gets over there, Mom has finished yelling and has hung up on her daughter.

Now on the other hand, I took my 5 year old to see a PG-13 movie yesterday. Pirates of the Caribbean #4. It was awesome! I had to pay the penalty of explaining why the mermaids had fangs and why they weren't nice mermaids over and over and over...but it was WELL worth the price.

Heavens to Murgatroyd...

Tomorrow is my daughter's dance recital for ballet.

A few weeks ago I found out that her dad completely forgot the recital was indeed this Saturday and has overextended his obligations with another commitment. I handled it pretty well trying to accommodate the changes but in my head I was thinking, another commitment? Really? We talked in great length about the recital and how he was going to take her afterwards for a special Daddy/Daughter time. How do you forget something like that?

Last night we were discussing the recital. He said he was going to be able to get away for a couple of hours to make it to the recital and was asking my opinion on the best route to get there. So, I tell him how I would get there. He tells me which route he thinks he should take. (My first thought is why the hell did you ask me if you already had a route in mind?) I politely tell him that there is major road construction going on in that area which is why I didn't suggest it in the first place. (Construction that has been going on for at least 6 months now) Then he says he just won't be able to make it because the route I suggested will take twice as long to get there. I tried to convince him that was not the case but he was certain he knew better than me how long it would take to get there.

At this point I am having a flashback to when we were married and how we ended up in conversations like this all of the time. He is right, I am wrong and so very stupid because I have no idea what I am talking about. I have been trying very hard to be polite and helpful, but I am done. I am going to let him have it...until...I look over at my daughter who is ignoring the TV to listen to what I am saying to her father. Deep breath...

I offer to map both routes on Google and see how much of a time difference it is. He tells me to stop being condescending. I am biting my tongue so hard I am sure it is bleeding. Then he tells me he just isn't sure how he is going to make it to the recital and he can't just back out on his other commitment. I had to stop talking to him right then or I was going to explode. I told him we could discuss it later as I needed to get Jenna to bed and hung up.

He can back out on his daughter, but he can't back out on his friends?! How selfish can one man be? I don't even want him to be there. I want to punch him in the face. I want to scream at him until my face turns blue. I want to tell our daughter what a selfish jerk he is, but I wont...I will leave it alone. I will let his actions speak to his daughter about what kind of person he is. I won't bash him to her. I won't prejudice her against him. I know what it is like to hear from your mom how horrible your dad is. How much those words hurt because it makes you feel like you don't have her permission to love him anyway.

Of course you know the first thing I had to do this morning was to map both routes. The time difference? A whopping 5 minutes! Heavens to Murgatroyd...I think that vein in my forehead just popped...

Internet Shopping Junky...

It seems I have replaced my candy addiction with an Internet shopping addiction. Maybe I had both addictions at the same time and just wasn't aware. Now, I am painfully aware.

There is something incredibly exciting about that e-mail that says my package has shipped. I immediately log on and see what the tracking status of my package is. Usually I get that "hey dumba$$, your package really hasn't shipped yet, check back later" message which just kills me. The next day, I log back in to see if my package has shipped for real now and where it is.

I wonder, which state will it come from? Where will it ship to before it gets to me? How many days before I get my package? It is like a soap opera to me. Shoes from Seattle, Books from Biloxi, Movies from Michigan...

When the package arrives I get an e-mail notification saying it is here and who at my office signed for the package. I immediately rush downstairs, find my package and rip it open like a pack of hungry dogs. Inside I find my Internet treasure, my well traveled item and my addiction goes on.

Then comes the let down. No more packages on their way. What can I order next? I get e-mails by the dozens, save 30%, 40%, 50%... I get catalogs by the hundreds, act now and take an extra $20 off your purchase of $75 or more. Ahhhh.....

Wait, what's that? My new gaming system that I swore I would never buy has just arrived? See ya....

Bat-Sh!t Crazy

**Note - this post was written yesterday but I couldn't publish it for some reason**

I am not sure where the term came from and not quite sure why bat poop should ever be referred to as crazy, but when dealing with the mother of my BF's daughter, it is the most appropriate comment I can make.

Last night I was graciously invited to attend the BF's daughter's softball game. While on my days off from my kiddo, watching 10 year old girls miss hits and fall down a lot is not high on my list of priorities, but we do what we have to do to get some time together so off I went.

The BF picks me up on his way to the game and is already grumbling under his breath. As we are doing 90 down the frontage road of the highway he tells me that the Mother has gotten herself pickled again and won't be able to take the daughter to her game so we will have to "hurry" over to get her and try to make it there by 7:00. At this point it is 6:20 and we are all the way across the world during rush hour traffic trying to get there. I'm thinking NOT gonna make it.

After we secure the lovely daughter in the car and race off to the playing field, she starts telling us how she might have strep throat but that's okay because her mom gave her some of her antibiotics or something like that. After she had one she fell asleep for 6 hours then her mom gave her another one and she slept for 10 hours so she is feeling much better now.

Here is where I stare lazer beams into the side of the BF's head while thinking to myself very loudly in my head - 'did you just hear what your daughter said'. I cannot believe her mother gave her adult medicine for symptoms of something as serious as strep throat. From the sounds of it, she didn't give her antibiotics at all but rather something else from the cabinet. As she is bat-sh!t crazy it could have been one of her anti-depressents or worse a pain killer or something like that.

It took everything in my being to not explode right there on the spot. I didn't want to freak out in front of the daughter because she is already struggling with how crappy her mom is. I tried to think about how I would feel if my mom chose to get drunk instead of going to my softball game and did some of the deep breathing exercises that I am beginning to get really good at for some reason.

Later in the evening the daughter says that her mom had her out in the backyard painting the pool after school today and that she was going to fill it in the morning and the daughter was going to go swimming in it that afternoon. My mom sirens are going crazy at this point - possible strep throat, not feeling well, sure throw the kid in an ice cold pool and you can kill her with pnuemonia...

On the way home from the game, the mother calls and asks if we know where her daughter is. She is frantic and says she can't find her...bat-sh!t crazy woman...

Her daughter was supposed to be at her Softball game at 7:00 last night. My BF gets a call at 6:00 from the drunk mother asking where the daughter is. BF says, she should be with you but I am on my way to come take her to her game as you are obviously not going to make it.

Strange dreams...

I have often wondered if other people dream with the same intensity that I do or if I am just wired differently.

I had a good dream two nights ago of Johnny Depp seducing me and when I woke up I could still smell his cologne (damn alarm!). Now I know that JD will never be knocking on my door and really if he did, I would probably turn him away as the dream was so intense I know I would never survive the real thing.

Last night my dreams went the other way. I dreamt that I kept asking my coworkers to call a therapist for me because I needed help. Then I took off all of my clothes and was walking around the building naked. I kept telling everyone to call a doctor.

Next I am at the doctor's office and the lady taking my application is asking me all of these questions about my information and when she is done, she tells me to go home and someone will be calling me in the next 4-6 weeks. I kept telling her that would be too late, I need help now but she just kept saying "Next".

I woke up from that dream almost as sweaty and started wondering about dreams and what they mean. When I do have significant dreams, I often awake with the feeling that whatever I dreamt about really just happened. Whether it be a tornado, flood, fire or fantasy, they seem so real. Sometimes the feelings experienced during my dreams will linger long into the morning or even for days if it was a really traumatic dream.

Sometimes my dreams even come true, that sense of Deja Vu, knowing what the person next to you is going to say or do next because you have already played out the scene in a dream before. That is really spooky...

Does anyone else have these types of dreams or are they meant to be more fanciful or fleeting?