Happy birthday Princess...

Six years ago today, I was lounging around in the hospital waiting patiently for my darling girl to make her appearance...

Don't buy that?  Me neither...  I started the day at about 4:00 in the morning taking a shower before heading over to the hospital. I laid around in the hospital bed having to ask a nurse every 15 minutes to unhook me from everything so I could go to the bathroom. I finally gave up around 9:00 and asked for the epidural and the catheter.  Then I got some rest.  The pushing started about 6:00 and at exactly 6:45 p.m. my sweet baby was born.

Since then there has been many smiles, laughs, giggles, tears, shouting and teeth grinding, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it nor a second or millisecond (I think you get my point) to not have every moment I can have with her.  Too soon she will be waving goodbye as she heads off to start her own life and I hope, really hope that she will look back on her childhood and remember how great it was to be together.

It's not my responsibilty, but I do it anyways...

Each day I wake up, I am responsible for several things in my life.  I am responsible for myself, my daughter and the dog.  Beyond that, I am technically not responsible for anyone else beyond that.  My husband does a pretty great job of taking care of himself and the things he is required to do.  When he is not working 80 hours a week, he also does a pretty great job of helping me with the shared household duties.

Why is it that at least two other people on this planet think that I am responsible for them?  One is my mother (I would be willing to bet you could have guessed that) and the other is my ex husband (bet you could have guessed that one too).

My mother will soon be facing retirement and as her health continues to deteriorate, it is becoming obvious that soon she will be added to my list of people that I am responsible for.  As she can no longer climb the stairs at my home to reach her room, we are faced with trying to sell our home and buy another that is more accommodating.  That being said, she has been less than gracious about her expectations. 

I have managed to find a 4 bedroom home that will provide a room for her, both kids and even a room for the hubby and I – because we plan to live there too.  She has lamented on and on about the loss of her current space, her things and her privacy.  While I am trying to be caring and compassionate towards her, at this point I want to tell her to shut the hell up and stay where she is if she doesn’t like it.  I am turning not only my life, but the lives of my family upside down to try to care for her and she doesn’t seem to appreciate that.

Then I have the ex who calls me four times a day asking me questions, asking me to do things for him or just to bug me.  I would stop answering his calls, but then he would just show up.  UGH!  I am not responsible for him either.  I try to be helpful and friendly as we do have to share a kid, but I want to tell him to jump in the lake too.  Give him an inch and he will ask for a mile.  Sheesh!

Okay, done ranting!  Now, if I could just get the market to pick back up so I can sell my existing house for at least as much as I paid for it, I would be a happy camper.

Stupid Internet Blocker...

At least once a week I have at least one of my favorite blogs that is suddenly blocked thanks to the lovely corporate content blocker we have on the Internet at the office.  I realize that this computer belongs to my company as does the service that I use for the Internet, so I am not mad at them as it turns out that we really do have plenty of people here that really do need to be blocked from spending hours surfing the porn sites.  ;-p

What does make me mad is that one day I can get onto the site just fine, then the next day it is blocked as being a gaming site or worse yet, a pornographic related site.  I scratch my head and wonder how anything posted on the blogs I follow constitutes gaming or porn. I prefer to follow sites that aren't too far out there so it is pretty vanilla on my list, but yet again Elisa Hirsh (The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom) is blocked.  Dang it all to heck - uh oh, I think I just got my blog blocked due to profanity.... SHEESH!

P.S. This time it is a gaming policy and not porn - I figured I had better clarify so Elisa doesn't start blushing!

Parents are not equal, at all...

I have decided that God did not make all parents equal. There are some that are better cooks, some that are better at projects and some are superb story tellers.  There are also those parents that are good at absolutely everything and I while I aspire to someday be one of those parents, I have a very long way to go.

Even within the same family, you can have one parent that seems to be able to wade through thigh-high pooh and not get dirty while the other parent is a hot mess all over the place.  While I am not so special that pooh doesn’t stick to me, somehow I have managed to be the apple of my daughter’s eye. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT complaining, but I do feel a tad guilty.  Why?  No idea.  I have put in the hours and effort to be a good parent, but I still feel guilty about how my daughter will eagerly spend 30 minutes with me on the phone when she is with her dad, but when she is with me I can hardly get her to talk to him for 2 minutes.  I know it hurts his feelings and I try to no avail to explain to my daughter that her daddy misses her every day and this is the only time he gets to communicate with her during the week.  Before hanging up the phone I always get an “I love you Mommy” while daddy always says it first and doesn’t always get a response.

I am the one that does the majority of the discipline. I definitely do more yelling.  Why does she like me better?  She does live with me full time so she definitely is more familiar with me, but what is it about me that makes me cooler to her (besides obvious things like my superior intelligence) than her dad?  He is definitely a better cook and has infinitely more patience when it comes to crafting, but yet I am the winner of the chicken dinner (aka my daughter’s unconditional love). 

Now I have to decide how much I should worry about this.  I know she loves her dad, but where is their disconnect?  Is there something I can do to help them have a better relationship?  Is it just his nature that puts her off or is it something more?  He is very self-absorbed, which is a major contributing factor to the demise of our marriage.  His daughter is the only thing he loves more than himself.  Can she sense that?  Does that turn her off of him on a subconscious level? 

I have tried asking her why she doesn’t like to talk to her dad and why sometimes she doesn’t want to go see him.  Even when it has been over a week and they have plans to do something great, there are times she doesn’t want to go.  She always says the same thing – “I want to be with you Mommy”.   Of course then I get the third degree about why I can’t go to her dad’s with her and stay until it is time for her to come home.  How do you explain THAT to a 5 year old?  Gee Honey, you see my current husband doesn’t really want me spending the night at my former husband’s house…Sheesh!

Try as I may, I just can’t figure this one out, so I will just have to set it down and walk away.  I am sure eventually the truth will come out and then I will again be a brilliant deducer of reason…!

Move Over Lady Gaga....

Here is my darling daughter's version of how to properly apply makeup.

This was the watered down version, she came back much later with the full face covered in a zombie like state.  I think she has a bright future in showbiz.  Her friend's mother did a great job of hiding her horror that her daughter's face was a toned down version of the same...EEEK!

I especially love the claws.  She did this pose on her own without any prompting. Did I mention that she is five?  Lord help me to survive her childhood.

Little Chloe also got involved in the fun.

One of our guests arrived in matching leopard print so I had to get a picture of both of them.  Chloe loves her party dress.

Now, back to work...I hope you all have a great day and don't work too hard on all of those new resolutions this year.

Stuff...

I finally unburied my computer long enough to catch up on everyone else's posts and to write one of my own.  We had a pretty great New Year's weekend. Hubby, the girls and I made Gnocchi together for a party and lit off some fireworks. The girls were still running wild at midnight and everyone had their "kissing partner". My stepdaughter is 11 and my daughter is 5 and the conversation they had about why a "kissing partner" was important just about made me pee my pants.  Evidently it is okay to have a pillow to kiss, even a sweatshirt, but not kissing anything at midnight is bad luck.  LOL!

We had some friends over for New Years Day and got to enjoy the Gnocchi we prepared the evening before.  It was delicious and the girls were puffing out there chests telling everyone how "they" made the Gnocchi and we just helped them a little. 

The daughter decided to give herself a makeover upstairs and her first pass resulted in a banded raccoon look. That got some giggles and applause.  Next came the full face makeup.  Looks like Lady Gaga has some competition in the rear view!! She is quite the drama queen as well so I am looking for big things in her future.

Hubby had to work today and daughter was with her dad so stepdaughter and I went for lunch and a movie.  She is a pretty amazing kid and I continue to count my blessings.  I don't have to deal with the "your not my mom" attitude from her and she talks to me like a real person.  She is only 11 so I won't hold my breath that this will stay this way forever, but I will enjoy it for now.